I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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