I'm sorry my penis didn't work
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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