I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
