hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
foreskin is a definite game changer
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
