just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
