I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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