when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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