I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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