i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
