I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
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8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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