Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
