He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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