That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
