i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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