when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
