MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
