He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
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sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize