I seem to have left my pride at pride
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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