I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
