im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
