i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
