so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
