if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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