I should be sponsored by Trojan
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Still dying that you shit outside
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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