i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
