somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
