hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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