It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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