He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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