The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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