The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
