Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Randomize
