dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize