honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
