Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
