you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
