if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
