My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
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I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
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I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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