Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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