i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
