How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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