No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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