Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
