Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Randomize
