i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Randomize
