So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
