she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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