Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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