no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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