u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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