this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
