It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize