After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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