It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
