Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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