Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
