i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
