You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
