she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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