Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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