Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
