Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
