Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
he just fucked me for my cheese..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
