I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
