have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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