Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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